Have you ever stopped to just witness for a moment how amazing our planet is?

Nature functions effortlessly.  Grass doesn’t try to grow.  It just grows.  Have you noticed how all the daffodils start to bloom on exactly the same day every February?  This one occurrence fills me with wonder every year and illustrates to me more than any other thing that nature is magic and the Universe is always unfolding as it should. 

And given the opportunity, our bodies would function effortlessly too.

So why don’t they?

It’s often because our minds get in the way.

As I was growing up, I was told how important it was to develop my mind, increase my knowledge and my ability to reason.  I was near the top of my class.  I worked hard and learned enough to get good grades at “O” and “A” level but I chose not to go to university.  I was consequently summoned to the headmistress’s office to explain the madness of my decision.  She declared that I was going to fail in life as a result of the fact that I was choosing not to develop my mind. 

With hindsight, however, I realise that my mind didn’t only store information.  It made comparisons (I am better/worse than that person).  It made judgements (This is right/wrong or acceptable/unacceptable).  And it was the result of these perceptions which determined whether I was at peace or not … regardless of whether these perceptions were true. 

I started comparing myself with girls who were prettier, thinner, taller than I was.  I believed that my way was the best way.  I had expectations about how people “should” behave.  And when I didn’t achieve what I wanted, or people disagreed with me or treated me in a way which hurt, I experienced anxiety, irritation, sadness and a sense of failure.

Life seemed like a battlefield.  I was constantly striving for something and was rarely at peace.  And then my body started to malfunction. 

At no point did anybody tell me that it was just as important to listen to my heart, my soul, my spirit, my inner voice … call it what you will … because that is where truth and wisdom are to be found. 

It wasn’t until I was in my forties that I learned about Acceptance, and my life changed as a result.

So, what is Acceptance and why is it good for us? 

Well, if we acknowledge that all the daffodils blooming on the same day isn’t a coincidence, but is in fact a perfect reflection of the workings of the Universe, then it follows that everything going on in the rest of the Universe must also be perfect and unfolding as it should.  And that includes my life.

It was tough at the beginning because, in accepting that, I also had to accept the perfection of the challenges and difficulties I was facing, and I could see nothing perfect about them!  But my attitude, my mindset at the time, wasn’t working for me and so, filled with curiosity, I decided to play with the idea of everything being perfect … just to see how it felt.  Years later, during a 3-month personal development seminar I attended, the facilitator formulated it thus:

“What if this is FOR me?” 

Instead of thinking of something as a problem, what if I saw it as a blessing?  What if there was a gift hidden in the circumstance I was labelling as a problem, or an opportunity to learn, to change my attitude, to be gentler with myself?  There was only one way to find out.

So, whenever I felt hurt, sad, discouraged or depressed I encouraged myself to accept that:

“This moment is as it should be, because the whole Universe is perfect and is as it should be”. 

Stepping back and attempting to see the bigger picture, I trained myself to recognise that this moment was the culmination of all the moments I had experienced before, and choosing to struggle against this moment … people, situations, circumstances … meant that I was struggling against the entire Universe.  Exhausting, right?

But what did Acceptance actually look like?  Well, I tried to let go of my need to always be right.  When I caught myself becoming sad if things didn’t turn out as I had hoped, I looked for the “perfection” in the “failure”.  As much as I could, I allowed people to be who they really were without trying to change them.  And each time I found myself falling back into my old patterns, I would collect my thoughts and try again … because I wanted to break the behavioural habits of a lifetime! 

In doing so, I found myself more able to relax and was less affected by outer circumstances.  Like water off a duck’s back, things no longer had such an impact on my wellbeing, and life became easier.

Does this resonate with you?  If so, maybe you could try it for one day, or even one hour?  Decide, for today, that you will not struggle against the whole Universe by struggling against this moment.  In this moment accept things as they are, not as you wish they were.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t wish for things to be different … absolutely not … but right now, in this moment, just accept things as they are, and then (tomorrow maybe) you can focus on how you would like them to be different and what you’re going to do about it.

Stop fighting, keep breathing and let yourself relax.  Tell yourself, “All is well in my world” and soon it will be.  Acceptance does that for you.

Let’s get you back to living life feeling well.

This article forms part of the series (At My) Wit’s End Wisdom.